i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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