So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
