is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize