he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
