I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
