I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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