Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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