im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize