ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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