ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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