i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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