I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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