I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
