My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
