he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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