I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
