wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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