chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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