I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have post one night stand depression
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