she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
