Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
