Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
