Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
