I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
