Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
