sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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