i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
