fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
