it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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