he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
