If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
