idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
