Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
