I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
