They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
