I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
