CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
