Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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