but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
