yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
