the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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