Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
