Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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