so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
