thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
