Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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