marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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