He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
