I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
