first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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