i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
