i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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