We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
