I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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