I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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