it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
