how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
