Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
