so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
