xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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