Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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