You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
