So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
