is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
